I'm discovering that one of my favorite things about running is that it teaches me self-discipline in many variations. I have set a goal by registering for a race and must take the initiative to prepare for it. I have to make myself get out and go. I have to find the time and not make excuses.
Even more important though, I have to understand and accept that life will not always follow the schedule I have written out and that's okay. Some days I may not be able to make time for a run, or the run may really suck. Today I was doing 3/1.5 & 5/2.5. One of my recovery walks ended up being 30 seconds too long, I hadn't caught my breath yet and so hadn't looked at my watch in time. You would not believe the white hot flash of anger I felt at myself. "How lazy! You've messed up the whole run now! What do you mean, you can't recover in 90 seconds?!" Then I realized that was the crazy, controlling, slightly OCD Carolyn and that it really is fine to walk an extra 30 seconds if I need to. Nothing is ruined, no one is disappointed, the run was still worthwhile and the world will continue to revolve. I did not allow myself to lose motivation, to give up or to beat myself p over this minor change in plans.
Is it strange that I have no problem making myself run, but I have a problem letting myself walk? Do you ever get mad at yourself for silly reasons? How has running changed you? I know it is making me a more relaxed, more accomplished person and I am proud of how quickly I turned that anger into acceptance.
Today was Week 4 Day 2, 2.4mi, 12'29" (fastest yet!)
I am much more focused on the other things in my life. I have had that same moment. Like you I realized that it is not the end of the world if every run isn't awesome. I also would compare myself to the people I saw around me. There was one woman who was just amazing. She was fast and perfect in form and I thought I was stupid for even trying because I would never be like her. I later saw her on the news. She is running for Liberia in the Olympics. So, yeah, I will never be like her and that's ok. I have learned to observe and learn. That's how to make yourself better. I love this by the way.
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