Looking Forward

I'm really terrible at keeping New Year's resolution, but I make them every year anyway. This year, I'm trying to keep it simple:

Courtesy of Thirty Handmade Days

I want to get in shape (who doesn't?) and I think I have a do-able plan this year as well as a goal, subjective though it may be. In April I'll be on stage wearing a very skimpy costume in front of many friends, family, and strangers. I used to do that daily but it has been a while and since I quit dancing for a living, my body has changed drastically. So, instead of setting a number of pounds I want to lose or a weight I want to lift, my goal is just to be in shape so that I can feel confident in whatever the costuming team throws my way.

I want to be more responsible with my money (again, who doesn't?). Working part time and living off financial aid has been a unique challenge. I have a summer trip to FL planned and I need to be very mindful this semester of where my money goes otherwise I'll never make it. In the next few days I'm planning to sit down and draw up a budget for myself and see where I can save. Any tips you have to share are most welcome!

I want to share my time this year. I don't know if I'm selfish or lazy or introverted but I'm a master at getting out of social obligations and I think it's unhealthy for my relationships. This year, I want to give more time to the important people in my life so that they can know they are loved and respected as I hope they love and respect me.

I want to succeed at running my Etsy shop. I really, truly love making and giving gifts - blankets, scarves, hats, whatever - and it makes me so happy and proud when other people are interested in the things I'm making. I want to share my skills, my time, and my passion with anybody out there and Etsy seems to be a great platform for it. The extra income will certainly be a blessing too! Defining success is difficult but I'd like to aim for a sale a month to be conservative, we'll see if that's attainable...

As for my one word, confidence is something I need in all areas of my life and I think it will be my one word for a long time to come. I need to be confident in my body, confident in my talents, confident in my relationships... but most of all I struggle with confidence in my decisions. I chose to leave Florida a year and a half ago and return to school. I wonder daily if I made the right choice. While my friends are getting married and having babies, getting promotions, traveling the world, and chasing their dreams, I'm going to class with kids 10-15 years younger than myself, working part-time just to pay the bills, getting deeper in debt, and worrying if I've been left behind. I try not to dwell on it, I try to look on the bright side but what I really need to do is let go and commit. I made a choice because I thought it was the best one for my future. I need to give up on fear and jealousy and have confidence in my decision, confidence in my path, and confidence in myself. I'm playing a long game right now, it'll be a while before I graduate, a long while before I get a job I love, and a very long while before I get out of debt, but I want to have confidence in the future I'm pursuing so I can enjoy the present!

I hope you have all had a wonderful year and that the next will be even better. Whether I know you offline or only on, you have been a blessing and I'm so very grateful! Happy New Year!